Are You Being Eaten Alive By “No Seeums” Or By A Vicious Parasite Army Seeking To Ravage Your Precious Organs

ralph zuranski photo
Have you every been eaten alive by “no seeums?” I was laying out in the 100 degree sun a couple days ago to get my quotient of vitamin d. I had no idea tiny bugs were feasting on the sun-browned flesh. 

I was sweating so much, my back was streaming with sweat as I lay in a puddle deep puddle of body moisture. I felt nothing until the next day. My lower and middle back was covered in microscopic bumps that itched like poison ivy. I believe the “no seeums” did it.

But, another answer is my internal bug Armageddon program. I am employing the most powerful bug zappers  available. Perhaps the parasites are fleeing ground zero, just like terrorists in the middle of the desert, racing to outdistance the obliteration caused by guided bombs and hell-fire missiles.

Maybe the electronic warfare is causing the evil parasites to abandon their mission to escape the biological cataclysm right through my skin.

I think the bumps are “no seeum” bites but if I notice any small worms crawling around on my sheets I will let you know.