The golden years are not what my mom expected.
It has to be really frustrating for my mom. She had a wonderful life up until last year when she suffered pneumonia and congestive heart failure, all at the same time. Her life consisted of going shopping with my dad for food, going swimming every day at the mission beach plunge, taking care of her garden, watching her favorite television shows and eating the delicious for food prepared by my dad.
When my mom had her congestive heart failure and pneumonia, in March of 2004, I flew back to help my dad take care of her.
Even at that time, my dad said that he felt that he was getting weaker by the day. He said he was having a hard time taking care of her. He told me that in the near future, it might be beneficial if I could move back to San Diego with Janet and help take care of both of them.
How true that prediction actually was.
Just four months after my mom had congestive heart failure, my dad had his crippling stroke. I should have listened closer to his plea. I was too busy thinking about my own life and what I was doing rather than being attentive to what he was asking. He did not want to disrupt my life but knew he needed more help. I often wonder if I had read between the lines and moved back before he had the stroke it never would have happened. I guess hindsight is 20-20.
Life is a joy when everything is going your way, until your health is lost in a blink of the eye.
When your health is taken away from you by a catastrophic event, the joy of living seems to diminish to a great degree. That is what happened to my mom and my dad both.
After almost 15 months, my dad seems to be handling it better than my mom.
Mom loved her freedom and ability to just do the things that she wanted on a daily basis. It’s tough for her to see my dad paralyzed in bed, and having to depend upon others for just about everything.
The Golden years are not what my mom expected them to be.
My dad’s recent aneurysm and heart surgery really scared my mom. To keep herself occupied and her mind off the precarious situation of my dad, she organizes and reorganizes everything in the closets, constantly. She goes through her’s and my dad’s clothes, socks, shoes, books, etc., moving, packing, storing and sorting.
The kitchen has many things to keep her entertained.
Mom is always going through the refrigerator, moving food around and throwing away food and containers. Sometimes, I have no idea where anything is. It was there yesterday but today is a whole new story.
I know it’s frustrating for her because it hard to find something that givers her life meaning.
When our parents get to the point where they have to depend upon their children for existence, their daily decision of how they will deal with the challenges of life determines their attitude.
I am often reminded of how important is to be thankful to God for everything.
It is so important to choose to be happy no matter what is going on. A lot of times, that is the only choice that you have…what your attitude is going to be. You’re happy or sad depending on your choice.
Who would’ve ever imagined, that the choices we make in life on a daily basis so powerfully transform our experience of life.
Happiness, sadness, joy, fear and all the other emotions are our choice. Don’t you think it’s a good idea to choose to have a positive attitude and be thankful for what you have…especially at this time of year.
The most important part of the holidays is not shopping for and giving gifts and going into debt.
It is important to keep a positive attitude when we are trapped in a room with people who drive us up the wall. No wonder the holidays are a tough time of year for many people, especially when you throw alcohol, sugar, fat, sickness, the flu and stress into the holiday mix.
Happy Birthday Jesus!
Imagine what Jesus Christ sacrificed for us. His birth is the original reason for the season. I believe in celebrating Jesus’s birth, life and death because it is through His love for us, we are set free from the consequences of our sins. He has given us eternal salvation, the greatest gift possible with out requiring anything from us other than our willingness to accept the free gift.
Next part of the original Zuranski catastrophic illness story.
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“Wow! Life Can Be So Challenging When Both Your Mom and Dad Are Suffering Catastrophic Illness!” by Ralph Zuranski
Mom had congestive heart failure so bad we had to take her to the emergency ward on Sunday.
She did so much better after they removed the excess water. She was home that day. Janet and I found out she was not taking her meds every day. That is why she almost died. Now we make sure she takes her medications. Unfortunately, when she takes her medications, she cannot sleep, because she has to go to the bathroom every hour. She is totally exhausted in the morning without a deep sleep. It is a Catch 22…no rest and staying alive. Wow! What a horrible choice between the quality of life and death. Janet and I agonize over the challenges facing us.
Dad is coming home tomorrow.
All of our Sin Jin Jyutsu is paying off. The only problem is we have to reconfigure the entire house. We had to tear out all the carpet. There are hardwood floors. I had to pull up all the staples and clean the hall and room where dad will be staying. We had to move out all the furniture before the carpet was removed.
It was an incredible amount of work removing all the furniture and carpet.
I cannot tell you how much work was involved. If your parents are in this zone…GET PREPARED! MAKE SURE THEY HAVE MEDICARE AND THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF SECONDARY INSURANCE. You will not be sorry.
I had no idea as to how much work it will be to take care of him at home.
Don’t let your parents get into this situation if you can help it. It is unbelievable…the amount of stress on everyone. We spent the last two days learning how to take care of dad. It has blown my mind. Am I ready to change diapers, do physical therapy, do all the cooking and cleaning?
Am I man enough to step up to the plate to take care of mom and dad?
Would it be easier to take care of them when they were not experiencing crises at the same time? I don’t know because the you know what is hitting the fan all at the same time. If only they had listened and chosen optimal health. Hindsight is 20-20. You have to accept the situation you are in.
Janet and I love my mom and dad, but what a challenge for 24 hour home health care.
Are we up to the challenge? I don’t know at this time. We will keep you updated. Janet is working like a madwoman to transcribe my interview with Doctor Garry Gordon, MD, one of the most brilliant people I have ever met.